Current mood:	aggravated
Current music:	spike tv

The love is still in me...
ok wow. i just had to see some shit that i did NOT want to see. i came across some pictures of him and some girl that went to a danced together, and we were supposed to be together. you know i know i dont expect him to not have a life just cuz i dont live there. me and him talked about that and had it all on the table and we knew how things can be. but the fact that he lied to me and didnt tell me the truth is what im so upset about. i hate all this emotional pain i go through cuz of him. i hate all the lies!!! i hate them soo much i rather hear his brutal honesty than his worthless lies. i would be much more forgiving of things if he was honest with me. and he knows that, but he obviously doenst take that into consideration. this is all becoming so unfair. how is that i wouldnt hurt him for anything in the world, but when it comes to hurting me he doesnt think twice. i cant always be playing his fool. i love how ppl go 'brit your so clueless' or 'brit you have some problems' well let me break it down for you guys who think you know. first of all im NOT clueless... its just there is nothing i can do. i cant tell him what to do. i dont control him. hes his own person. he is, who he is. im not here to change him.\. i love him for everything he is, and everything he isnt. i dont expect him to be perfect, our 'realtionship' is not like most ones. its complicated. i know this long distance thing sucks. and thats what ppl have to understand. we were not officially together but we werent nothing either. but we're not together anymore. and second of all i have problems??? maybe i do. you dont have to state the obvious. but what you dont know is that i have had someone playing these games with me for over a year. i mean im not saying it was all the time, cuz there was a point and time when i did live there and me and him were good and we had it good. but all this roller coaster, on again off again stuff is not going to make me happy. so yea maybe i do have some problems, and some things to work out and deal with, but thats not for you to call out or you to even care about. you dont deal with it, your not in any way, shape, or form invovled in this, so what do you care?

you know i was starting to handle all this pretty well. my life out here was starting to get on track. things were good, i mean me and brandon would talk here and there, and i could deal with that without feeling like hell. and then what do you know... something always falls in my lap that stirs things all up again, and i just get so upset. i wish ppl would just stop all this shit. i'll deal with this on my own. i dont need random ppl who have NO IDEA what the hell their talking about.. tell me their opinion. yea i listen and talk to my closest friends about this, but its cuz i trust them and they actually know whats going on. i can deal with this without your comments, so keep them to yourselves. please. i wanna drop this, and move on, so i think you need to too. that all i have to say

<3 Brit